I’m Sonya, and I often have a problem acknowledging God‘s will as my own.
There, I said it. I’m not perfect. I fall short of His Glory daily, and this is not okay with me.
I think I’ll list my imperfections. You know, just for the few who may think I’m a bit self righteous in my posting.
1. When I get angry enough, sometimes I curse… then I repent.
2. If I’m stressed, I sometimes forget to pray, and I crave a shot of liquor, and if it’s bad enough and have a temporary loss of sanity and forget I’m saved, I might have it… then I repent.
3. When I see a fine, handsome man, I don’t always wonder if he’s a Christian, I just start to have those lustful thoughts… then I repent
4. I don’t get along with everybody and loving people who don’t love me back just gets under my skin… then I feel convicted, I repent, AND ask for a clean heart
5. I sometimes take credit for my accomplishments and don’t give proper credit to God… so I repent
AND THIS IS TO BE EXPECTED!
Point is, I do a lot of repenting. I’m constantly asking God for forgiveness for something because I AM NOT PERFECT. I can only strive for perfection. Every single day of my life, I want to be a little better than I was the day before. I used to think that God had all these unfair standards that he set for Christians that they could never live up to and I just couldn’t wrap my mind around how being under submission to His will was even POSSIBLE. But I understand a little better now. Jesus gave His life for us because even though we sinned in so many ways, He still felt like we deserved a chance. He knew that there were possibilities in us. He knew that if we just took the time to understand Him, to get to know Him, then we would accept Him. He wanted to save me, you, us, from eternal damnation so that He would be able to spend eternity WITH us. He did all this while living an absolutely pristine, white as snow, pure and perfect life. He created a standard of peace in the middle of a storm. In the midst of being tempted, tortured, talked about, abused, scorned, lied on and hated, He never once sinned.
Do you understand just how amazing that is? He dealt with so many more trials than me and He never once sinned. When Jesus experienced hell on earth, He simply chose to tell His daddy about it. He got closer to His Father. He spent time in worship even when the “chips were down.”
We don’t experience even half of the adversity that Jesus did, but we (and I’m talking about me here) take matters into our own hands… and fail miserably. Now I see it! It’s not hard at all. I’ve just got to stay prepared for whatever happens next. And the good thing about it all is, my Daddy has my back.