It’s not ok to take something that doesn’t belong to you. If it’s not freely given, it’s not yours. Women are people. They have feelings. Don’t treat a woman any way you wouldn’t want someone to treat your mother and your daughter.
I’ve dealt with my share of abuses. Verbal, emotional, and physical. Because of this, I am in a constant state of letting go. Just when I think the pain is gone, that dark reminder creeps back up and almost paralyzes me. Every single day, I become better than the day before. I used to live in a constant state of fear and paranoia. I was molested and raped for so long that I honestly thought that the only way to receive love from a man was to offer my body. There were no feelings attached. For a moment though, I felt important. Then when the morning came, I was nothing all over again. I became a willing doormat, a garbage receptacle. To be cursed and told that I wasn’t good enough or pretty enough to be seen in public with my “man” was a small price to pay to have somebody in my life. This is to be expected. This is the best I’ll ever have. I accepted infidelity. That only meant that I needed to step up my game. I needed to be the best ride or die chick. I’m lame, so to be a part of that “crowd” I dabbled in drugs and heavy drinking. Now I’m cool. I separated the broken Sonya from the fun Sonya, so my life was one long unhappy party. Clubbing, boozing, drugs, and sex with a huge smile on the outside while I was withering away on the inside. I knew it wasn’t right. That life never really had the right “fit”. I always wanted more, but I was so crushed by LIFE. And the worst part is, I was too afraid to tell anyone. I didn’t want pity because I felt it was MY FAULT. I didn’t want anyone to blame themselves, so I hid it for so many years. I was such a castaway, so worthless, that death wouldn’t even accept me.
And then I met the one man that had a lifelong desire to be my Ride or Die. He noticed ME. He looked beyond my facade and accepted me, right where I was, all grimy and disheveled. He didn’t make me feel like an object, and He reminded me over and over and over again just how important I am to Him. Just how much I’m LOVED! I never felt whole, complete, until I accepted Christ. I could just talk to Him about ANYTHING and He never judged me. The best thing about my Father is that if I throw my garbage, my mess, my issues on His shoulders, He gives me the strength to lift my shoulders and to stand tall and finally be proud of being just me. He validates me, so I don’t have to intertwine my soul with another and another and another to know that I am adored. I’m so thankful for Him introducing me to His design. I can’t knock His creation.
I often wonder how many other women feel this way? Abuse is never okay. You are worth so much more. The only way to stop it is to call it what it is. Rape. Molestation. Assault. Emotional Abuse. It’s all darkness. Talk about it. Ask your local church for assistance. Go to the police. Just know that YOU ARE WORTHY! You have a purpose. Enough is enough.